Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bad, Twitter. BAD!

Dear Twitter,

Your 'Who to follow' section makes me want to light myself on fire, Stop-Drop-and-Roll in a briar patch, and put out the fire by jumping in a pool of rubbing alcohol.  It has NOT once suggested someone I actually wanted to follow.  It is slightly less ridiculous (and much more popular) than this blog.

Also, you clearly don't care about the trends I try to start and/or haven't visited my blog in the last 48 hours to see my new logo that contains said trend.

Exhibit A
Giving Charlie Sheen more attention is like giving a meth addict the keys to a CostCo pharmacy... or just more meth.

I will NOT follow Charlie Sheen.  I would rather be locked in a confined space (with very little ventilation) with Ke$ha than follow Charlie Sheen.  Seriously, y'all.  If she smells like she looks like she smells. Dang! PS - she looks like she smells like a woman who trades sex acts for meth, then ODs, and then collapses in an overturned dumpster where a rabid raccoon starts gnawing on her nose piercing.

Anyway, everyone should 'unfollow' him.  The media's obsession with him ruined last week's Saturday Night Live.  I was hoping for an hour and a half sketch of the Miley Cyrus Show, but instead every other joke was about this half a man.

If I weren't completely addicted to everything @BrookeAlvarez and @TheBloggess tweet like a Canadian meth addict, I would do this:

PS - How does one actually follow a web browser?!


*This post was apparently brought to you by: METH!

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