Wednesday, July 22, 2009

the wonder years

In an effort to fight the need to be more ‘grown up’, I began looking back on my youth. Yes, I know I’m not old and am still a young adult, but I’m soon approaching the days where I will be expected to be a standup individual in society and… mature.

What happened to the days of Saturday morning cartoons? Where did the hours of watching two pixilated oxen ford a river and my friends die of dysentery? How did I forget about Friday night campouts in my tree house? I miss these simpler times. I spent so much of my life waiting to be a grown-up. Technically, I’m still sort of waiting for those days, but more and more I am missing those carefree days. My biggest worry was a middle schooler’s birthday party I may or may not be invited to. Now, I am beat over the head with glaring realities that only an adult can truly abhor.

My parents are no longer the invincible super heroes who drive me places and cook me dinner. They aren’t mom and dad. They are something much more frightening than they who count to three… they are people. And my friends. They aren’t those who I pass notes to in a homeroom while an old crone switches transparencies on a projector on its last leg. They are also people. We have email, jobs, and real life problems that don’t include zits before a school dance and Chinese cuts in the cafeteria. We sit across from one another with faces that say, ‘life is happening.’

Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward and be Fred Savage narrating flashbacks of my life in and oh so ‘Wonder Years’ existence. But, alas, I have to grow up. Instead of bittersweet retrospect, I have to watch my life unfold in front of me on a path that has no Google Maps. While I go through life and learn its lessons, I am oddly filled with more questions than answer. Instead of living out my ‘Wonder Years,’ I am just wondering… what’s next?!