Wednesday, February 4, 2009

the business of 'the business'

Ok, I’ve posted about bathroom etiquette before, but recent events at my office (no names) have prompted me to amend this for semi-private professional bathrooms. I don’t know about where you work, but the working public doesn’t have access to our potties, so you would think a group of educated, white-collar working individuals would know the dos and don’ts of ‘the business.’

Anyway, I have come to the realization that the higher your position in the company, the less discretion you use. Now, this isn’t true of everyone, but I can kind of appreciate this one. If I was the CEO of a company, who cares if I let out a little fart while I pee? I wouldn’t be proud of it, but I definitely wouldn’t care what a subordinate employee thought about me.

However, I don’t care if you’re Barack Obama, no one on God’s green Earth is exempt from hand washing, and unfortunately I have to add… WITH SOAP! The facilities at my job have pretty pointless automatic soap dispensers that make a little ‘bzzzzz’ noise as it dispenses. So, when I’m standing at the urinal or in a stall and I hear the water running and no soap, newsflash: you’re not fooling anyone, sicko! I mean, why was your hands at all? Hold your non-hygienic head high, and just strut on out of the door, because if you didn’t use soap, don’t waste water!

Finally, noise (of any kind) in a public bathroom is just skunky. I don’t wanna talk about my weekend or my pick for American Idol while the junk is out and about. Even though it’s a ‘public’ bathroom, going to the bathroom is a personal time. I don’t have a shy bladder, but still it’s my little 5 minutes of alone time. Also, speaking of noise, if you’re in the stall, can you please not sound like you are trying to dead lift a Ford F-150?! Gross!

As you can see, my creative juices aren’t flowing too steadily… any suggestions for a post?

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