Monday, April 11, 2011

What a friend we have in TJ

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and since I have no idea how to cohesively explain what you are about to see, I'm glad I've got more than one. Here's one I drew of him eating tacos!

If you frequently follow my blog (and why wouldn't you?), you have heard me mention one of my best friends, TJ. He is the textbook definition of a hot mess, but in the most awesome way possible. Whether he is throwing a full bottle of wine into the yard at his own house party or blacking out and hitting his head on a bathtub, he's the life and death of the party!

Unfortunately, my friends and I have created a monster. And by monster, I mean turned him into a scared dog that's been kicked one too many times. You see, TJ has a scream that would make Neve Campbell eat her heart out. It is a thing of beauty. We have taken it upon ourselves to find every opportunity possible to scare the ever living hell out of him and sometimes just hit him for no reason. Harmless gestures of friendship like hugs or putting your arm around him strike fear into his heart and he is constantly running pretty pathetic defense 24/7.

For instance, on the night of his own birthday party, my roommate and I decided to get him. So, my roommate hid underneath my bed and I faked needing advice on what to wear for the evening.

Luckily for you, this post gets even better.

This weekend, after hours of by the pool day drinking, TJ went home to freshen up. For his birthday, my roommate (heard but not seen above) got him a weekender bag he had has eye on for a while and Nat King Cole L-O-V-E, LOVED!. So, what better way to show it off than stumbling into a bar?!

TJ had ransacked his desk and other areas of his apartment to 'have things in his handbag' because only an idiot shows up at a bar with an EMPTY handbag. Again, this is a rather large weekender, NOT a handbag. He showed up at the bar with bag in tow and delightfully showed us what was inside: a set of Crayola markers, a bag of Rold Gold pretzels, a pencil sharpener shaped like an action figure, a toothbrush, and so much more! It was like an adorable, special needs child had dressed herself for the first time!

Anyway, my other friend, James, is a big fan of the prank. As they left the bar, James had convinced TJ that his markers were in fact makeup! He then offered TJ a drunken, side of the road makeover! Promises of looking 'fierce' and other lies, probably had TJ beaming with anticipation.

According to James, post 'makeover,' he was running down the street with his bag covering his face...

After telling my roommate the story, TJ confirmed the promises/delusions of fierce via text.

It also turns out that TJ is NOT a liar. The fierce did NOT happen.

IT'S FRIDA THE MIME, Y'ALL!!! Whose day just got better?!!?

Needless to say, Crayola markers don't blend quite like eye shadow like he had hoped/planned...

For the record: TJ, himself, sent me the first pic of the in-progress makeover.

UPDATE: 1) If you Google 'TJ hot mess' it finds my blog. On a side note, Googling 'childhood trauma stalker' also finds me the top hit. Fail or win?! 2) I love peanut butter.


Paige said...

oh god those pictures are fucking hilarious!

Rand Duren said...

This is hilarious! Love me some TJ hot mess!

Eric de Lemos said...

Frida Kahlo!! Is that you???

Jean Cumbie said...

Love it. Although the eyes could have used some yellow marker to play off the purple! LOL Love the Kahlo reference!

Anonymous said...

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Leslie said...

I think this may be the best post I have ever read.. IN MY LIFE.