Monday, April 18, 2011

racking up butch points

There are a lot of things I have tried that never really panned out how I had hoped (i.e. - not drinking for an entire week, hating Ke$ha, and vegetarianism.)

Over the last few years, I have come to realize I either have the world's best beginner's luck or I missed my calling as the next Annie Oakley.

My entire life, I have been fascinated by guns. Two years ago, I went out to my friend's home in the country and shot skeet for the first time ever. Actually, this was my first time to ever hold a gun that wasn't actively attached to a Nintendo. To say I was great would be a lie, but I did get my fair share of shots in, thus racking up major butch points!

For my 24th birthday, I went deer hunting for the first time with my best friend's dad out on his ranch. After about five minutes of target practice, we walked out to that box thing, poured some foul smelling animal urine around, and sat in silence.

Just as I was getting bored and wishing I had an iPhone to play Angry Bird on, an 8-point bucked walked into the clearing. I took aim, and successfully made that deer my b****. Its skull hangs above my closet door now.

Totally pwned.
Then, just this past weekend, two of my friends took me out skeet shooting again at this totally awesome range right here in the DFW area! When I saw that they even have a special Women's Only shooting club called "Lipstick & Lead" I knew I belonged here. I am currently seeing if they'll make an exception and approve my membership...

We ended up playing this skeet shooting golf game. I don't know how else to describe it. We walked to 8 different stations that each had two different launchers and we all took our shots. My lack of knowledge of proper terminology in no way impaired my ability to be awesome.

We stopped after eight stations because it was getting late.
I successfully came in second among five shooters, one of which was rather experienced and has a 38 loaded with hollow points tucked away in her night stand. 

Note: the green V-neck Tee.

Turns out, properly holding a shot gun is EXACTLY like holding a handbag. No wonder I'm a natural!

Also, in the spirit of full disclosure, I successfully cancelled out any/all racked up butch points by spending the morning before we went shooting singing show tunes, hymns, and selections from Glee around my friend's piano while he played (including but not limited to ''The Sound Of Music,' 'It Is Well With My Soul,' and 
'Endless Love.')

Side note: This weekend three of my friends and I left the bars around midnight and between the four of us, we consumed $40 worth of Taco Bell. I was completely sober. Fail.

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