Friday, April 15, 2011

Waiting For Superman

Well, this should be more of how bad we need a new Superman movie since Bryan Singer's 2006 'reboot' was horrible, even though Parker Posey was in it. But, once again, the US public school system has failed us... well, mainly me.

Once I ran for historian in middle school student council, because I was sure it was one of those bull $#!+ offices that no one really cares about and I was moderately popular enough to win. I was wrong. Turns out, the student body knew better. First it was geography and math, and now, it appears my career as a historian is gonna be about as successful as my aspirations of reviving my teen modeling career.

So, one of my coworkers is going to give birth in the beginning of July.

Me - If it is born on July 4th, she should name it America!

Prego- It's a boy.

Me - Americo? Or Paul Bunyan!

Prego - I'm not naming my baby after a fake person.

Me - Paul Bunyan wasn't REAL?!

The fact that I was giving her any attention whatsoever regarding her pregnancy was a big enough imposition, but now she was questioning my knowledge of history? As she should.

After a quick google and skim of Paul Bunyan's Wikipedia page, turns out. He wasn't real. Or even based on a real person. I blame 3 parts my ignorance and 5 parts horrible public school education.

I'm 99% certain we read about and watched Paul Bunyan related history movies all the time. Not even on rainy days, my history teachers totally phoned it in and made me believe for over two decades that Paul Bunyan was an honest to goodness American Hero!  So, let's review:

Not real! But the jury is still out on the Ox.
Totes real! Seriously!
I'm 99% sure, Jack Bauer is real.
PS - I would totally trade four real Johnny Appleseeds for one Paul Bunyan.


Kay Bee said...

I would totally trade one Jack Bauer for five Paul Bunyans. Sexiest voice EVER.

Suniverse said...

Has that person never seen Natalie Portman's magnum opus Where the Heart Is, where she gives birth to a baby in a WalMart and names her Americus and every. horrible. thing. in the world happens, INCLUDING pedophilia and a tornado that rips away her mother figure?

If you have not seen this movie, do so posthaste.

Anonymous said...

Hello. What better or ?