Friday, April 8, 2011

Gay World, Vol. I - Clothes

Other than interesting updates from celebrities concerning upcoming appearances, other crazy celebrities' tweets that clearly are coming from their limo rides to rehab, and my school-girl crush on my friend, Cameron's, hilarious and bitchy tweets, twitter usually just pisses me off or destroys my faith in humanity. Seriously, Rebecca Black trended longer than that thing that happened in Japan...

Anyway, the other day I was absolutely so pleased to find Gretchen Weiners, Glenn Coco, and Johnny Cash were all trending! I have no idea how or why and, more importantly, I didn't care! Honestly, if you haven't seen Mean Girls, we clearly have nothing in common and you should probably stop being a person immediately. Actually, finish reading this post first.

In the film, Girl World is described as a savage place where compliments are always back-handed and you are definitely gonna get raped Oz style on a three way call at some point. But no one ever talks about the dangers of Gay World.

Seriously 'grown' men in their mid-twenties all the way through their late-forties all at some point and in one way or another revert to these vapid teenage girls, except with money, gym memberships, serious substance abuse problems, and better clothes.

I'm probably gonna make Gay World into a series, so I'm only gonna focus on the clothes for now.

Personally, I don't like shopping. I hate spending money on clothes and don't usually care about what I'm wearing. My drawings of myself constantly in a green v-neck are the product of my MS Paint laziness and because it is basically my uniform.

Even so, nothing burns my bacon more than showing up at an event or even work wearing the EXACT same thing as someone else. Seriously, I don't even do the whole 'oh, I guess you go the memo' lame joke or try to make light of the situation. The first thing that goes through my mind is, 'great now, I have to murder someone.'

The same principle goes into the same disdain I have for other Asians. I mean, I'm not gonna kid myself, we basically all look close enough to the same. Our hair is course, straight, and can only do about 3 different things. So, when I see other Asians, I basically turn into a beta fish and again thoughts of homicide roll through my abnormally large head.

However, the fact that I find taking out the trash a taxing chore, means that I would most likely never sum up the energy to dig a hole deep enough to actually dispose of a body...

Wait, this had nothing to do with 'gay world' in general... It was just my jealousy issues. Oh well. You read it! Who's the dumb one now? Still me? OK.

Anyway, I also didn't draw a single picture for this post. Wait a minute!

Here's a picture of my friend, TJ, I drew for his birthday.

You're welcome.

PS - As soon as I can figure out to edit a video (maybe Monday), I will be posting another video of us scaring TJ. *SPOILER ALERT* He screams like a big girl!


Anonymous said...

What the fuck was the point of this post?

Or any of them for that matter...

Absolute shite.

John said...

YAY! There was no point. Jokes on you! BLAMO! Maybe if you read it again, you'll find one.

Shelley said...

Why read it EVERY time and then post that it's crap? Is someone MAKING you read this? If you don't like it, why not just refrain from reading it? Most of John's readers find him somewhere between giggle-worthy and hilarious on most of his posts, so if you don't feel that way, why not just save five minutes of your day and read something else? I know your hate-posts amuse John, but they just seem like more effort than it's worth to me...

John said...

Thanks for the support and sound logic, Shelley. But I would honestly rather be hated on the Internet than anything else. I mean does anyone really love Rebecca Black. No. Her almost tangible hate following is her gateway into fame.

Suniverse said...

Love this.

Here via LA Juice, and she got it dead on - you are hilarious. Girl World/Gay World? Genius.

PS Love the drawings, too.