Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Drive me crazy!

So, after reading a few posts, you probably think I’m just an extremely negative person who complains about stuff too much. As true as that may be, I believe my mini-rants are for the greater good. I willing to jump on the proverbial grenade and take one for the team and be the Negative Nellie in order to make sure this place called Earth can run a little smoother. Speaking of which on my way to work today, I thought about just that.

Somewhere on 635 between the Dallas Tollway and I-35, I began to ponder about how dumb people are. I honestly don’t understand how people have wrecks. I have been behind the wheel of a motor vehicle for the last 6 years and have yet to make contact with anything but pavement in my car. Barring some sort of crazy weather, heart attack, or car malfunction, I don’t see why it’s so difficult to not swap paint with your neighboring automobiles.

Also, there are just a handful of things that tick me off and would make me a much merrier motorist and overall flow of traffic smoother…

1. Don’t wait until the last inch to merge when a lane is ending. You saw the signs, so move over in a timely manner and don’t speed up to cut off a car at the last minute, especially cause they had enough sense to get over a long time ago. This causes people to slam on their breaks and might blood pressure to rise.

2. Blinkers should only be used in increments of 5-10 seconds. If you don’t have enough sense to remember to turn it off following a lane change, maybe you just shouldn’t use it. Nothing is more annoying than staring at that unholy flashing yellow light for 10 miles of highway.

3. The left lane is reserved for those of us who like to move a little quicker. The left lane is for passing, not a better view of oncoming traffic. You people who think that going 1 mile over the speed limit makes you the next Jeff Gordon need to check yourself into the right lane.

4. Is there some sort of requirement that you be a complete retard to buy a motorcycle? You may be saving gas and look so cool, but that reserved income will do little for you when you’re being scraped of the pavement by the highway patrol because you decided to channel your inner Knieval. Don’t weave in and out of cars at 80 mph and expect any ounce of sympathy from me. I’ll just channel my inner Randy Travis and say ‘I Told You So.’

5. Green means go. You may think the red-light is your time to reapply your lipstick, check your cell phone, or do a quick lint check, but it really is just a time for you to patiently wait to accelerate. Nothing makes me want to go monster truck rally on the cars around me more than someone at the front of the line that wastes time remembering where they are and what they should be doing.

What makes you rage?!

PS – Sorry about the blinker thing, Dad. In your defense, you drive in West Texas, and those yay-hoos seem to have their own twisted rules. I’m more concerned with cotton strippers driving on 27 than your blinker!


Anonymous said...

People that drive slow until you try to pass them, then speed up so you can't get around them.

People that drive 45 MPH on the freeway. No, having your flashers on does NOT make it okay!

People that run red lights. Even though I have a green light, I cannot go because you feel that you are above the laws of traffic.

People that stomp on their brakes and slow down to 15 MPH under the speed limit, just because they see a cop.

Anonymous said...

Is it just me or did you describe most Asian drivers?