Wednesday, June 25, 2008


Ok, first of all, if you’re reading this (hopefully) I would urge you to make a quick scroll down to the previous blog. Doing so will ensure a better understanding of this posting and a better glimpse into one of the reasons I consider myself blessed.

I have recently realized that when it comes to my ‘fresh’ outlook on life and all the complications therein, my father is best described as sandpaper. No, he’s not brittle, rough, and abrasive. If anyone has ever dealt with wood working, you understand the true purpose of sandpaper. It does not truly alter the essence/structure of the wood, but improves it. Likewise, my father has never tried to drastically alter my views (no matter how extreme), but he has smoothed the edges of my more drastic views to reflect a bit more wisdom beyond my years and a more passive/understanding understanding of a larger picture.

Yes, I was very upset when writing my previous post. Dad, in all his wisdom, didn’t drastically disagree with most of my views, but offered an additional perspective on my anger as well as a bit of fact checking on my rant.   Much of this post will be excerpts from an email I will remember for the rest of my life…

“ First of all, God has given you a truly amazing gift with words - and for what it's worth, I'm truly thankful that they are English words and not Korean! Amazing how we end up being what God has designed us to be, and also where he has designed us to be...

I also appreciate your choosing, in such an angry state, to not be too "colorful" in your language. Although I suppose learning how to "crap gold” or "suck it James Dobson" gets mighty close to colorful... How ever does your mind work?

The Lord has chosen to use you to change and reframe some of my thinking, and it is for certain that I could never be more proud to be your dad.

Now to the subject of James Dobson - I'm not sure you can believe everything that you read on the Internet about him. I do know that Dobson supports "Exodus", and I have personally heard the director of Exodus say there are only 2 reasons a person would be homosexual: 1) weak ineffective father 2) having been molested sexually at some point in life. While that might be true in some cases, particularly for some who are "confused" about their sexuality, or who are choosing to play around with alternate lifestyles, we certainly know it is not true in your case. And frankly it makes me also quite angry when such leaders make blanket statements.

Now Dobson has been quite vocal about homosexual lifestyles that are decadent, sinful, and dangerous - even as he has also been vocal about such things among heterosexuals. It does, though, seem the greater condemnation has been pointed at homosexuals.

Also, Dobson does NOT get rich from his ministry (unlike so many other TV evangelists). He takes no salary from "Focus on the Family". Money from all books he's written for the ministry or in any way advertised by the ministry goes directly back into "Focus on the Family". He honestly cares about anyone making poor life choices that results in broken families, AIDS, aborted children, drug ridden homes, etc. He's written a number off things that have personally helped me. Unfortunately I think there is a great deal he doesn't understand about this particular subject. I'm sure if you were his son, God could show him some things that would cause him to rethink some of the things he says. For that matter, if you're careful to not show too much anger (so that folks turn you off), I think God can use you to help a number of folks!

I know you tend to make rather dramatic statements to get your point across, but you have to understand that statements like "I would rather burn in Hell than share an inch of paradise with them", well, that is pretty strong. The reality is that Heaven will be filled with all kinds of characters. I know there will be Lutherans dumfounded at all the Catholics and Baptists that are there. And to refer to your previous statement "more empty than a Baptist dancehall,” well there will be a number of Baptists that wonder what us drinking, dancing Lutherans are doing there. This dialogue will continue. As you will continue to be a son that I love very much! Dad”

So, that was bit more of a carbon copy than an excerpt, but those words just prove my point. However, I could only hope someday to trade some more of my ‘colorful’ rhetoric for the ability to convey reason and wisdom as effortlessly as the man I call ‘dad.’

After reading this email and reflecting on my anger for more than 5 minutes, I would like to say that I simply am tired of the myriad of individuals who are driven by ignorance and self-righteousness that continue to tell me that I’m a square kind of guy in a round world. My heart also breaks for other 'square' individuals that aren't as fortunate as me to have such a support system (read email above). If it weren't for my amazing family, I would have probably resorted to drugs, alcohol, sex, and/or suicide to cope with the tsunami of stupid. You know, I might not ever change the minds of certain people, but blogging about it sure relieves some of my fury.

PS - I hardly ever get on my 'gay soap box,' so don't expect too many of these blogs in the future...

1 comment:

Abby said...

Your Dad (aka my favorite father-in-law) is a very wise man. Love you!