Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Let me hear you say "huh!"

There are times throughout the day that things just make you go ‘huh.’ It can be anything from a drastically dressed coworker, a person who seems like a walking lesson in contradictions, or… well… there are some things so ‘huh,’ there are no words… Luckily enough for you, there are plenty of ‘huhs’ that are worthy of more words than a picture!

One thing that makes me go ‘huh’ is the fact that some people don’t seem to own a mirror. Now, granted you might not be waking up everyday to a formal gathering or special event. But, you are going to see people aren’t you? I mean, unless you’re a computer programmer who works out of your own Unabomber basement, don’t you care that people see you? Having a good sense of self and disregarding the shallow opinions of others is one thing. But, there are certain fashion choices that are beyond shallow. I mean, bleach blonde highlights went out of style in… actually… I don’t think they were ever IN style. Plus, if you are expected to dress business casual (usually a policy just waiting to be abused), casual doesn’t negate the need for a good ironing. Some people look like they vacuum seal their clothes for freshness the night before they wear them.

Get er’ done! Huh?! I never thought I would actually write those words. My friend told me a story about going to a bar and seeing a man wearing a T-Shirt with that catchphrase who looked like every sense of the slogan. Ok, first of all, combined, those are probably the 3 worst words in the history of the King’s English. Larry the Cable Guy uttered that ugliness many years ago (and it wasn't even funny then), so why are people still so pleased with its twangy lack of charm? Certain slang and colloquialisms are just so confusing/annoying/senseless that you just ‘huh’ at the very fact that these words are becoming part of someone’s regular vocabulary.

A more isolated but hilarious ‘huh’ of late was pointed out to me by a coworker. At the bottom of a corporate email sent out by another one our coworkers says (in green mind you) ‘Please consider the environment before printing this email.’ Now, at first glance, this person seems like a regular Al Gore in his quest to conserve our planet's natural resources. But, I don’t know what good paper will do us when we have no gas because this guy rolls into work in a Hummer! Really? Yeah, a Hummer! There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t hear about the record-breaking highs of the price of paper! Let me remind my grandchildren to thank this guy and his ilk for making them wear SPF 3000!

One final ‘huh’ is actually more of an ‘ah!’ I don’t know where you grew up, but I come from a place called Earth, where people should have a sense of proximity. That’s right, I’m talking to you close talkers or hoverers! If I can hardly remember your last name, what are the chances that I want to smell what you had for lunch? Another lesson in proximity occurs in any men’s public restroom. I know girls go in herds to discuss whatever’s necessary, but guys are in a rather small space with their float and fun bags out. Why is it some people feel so comfortable as to make small talk?! Gabbing by the water-cooler about how mean Simon was on American Idol is one thing. I don’t want anything as far as a ‘good morrow’ during my 5 minutes of alone time.

You might be reading this and thinking ‘huh?’ But, I just had to get these few things off my chest… What makes you say 'huh?'

1 comment:

Dena said...

-Going to McDonald's and watching someone the Big Mac meal, Super Sized mind you, and then ordering a Diet Coke. Huh.
-Watching an extremly large women riding a bike at the gym, eating a snickers bar. Huh.
-People walking up to a cashier at Target and asking if she is open. Her express lane light is off. Huh.
-There are some customers at our bank that don't like people who speak Spanish and while we are not watching, they like to put a sticker on our motorbank tube shooter that says, "If you don't speak English, get the heck out of here." (G version)They are trying to offend Spanish speaking individuals yet their advertisement is in English. Huh.