Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Snow Day!

Or not.  I am working.

I dreamed of calling in with the voicemail: "Sorry, I will not be coming into work today.  My personal safety and desire to make snow angels far outweighs my dedication to my job and/or this company." 

However, I decided to brave the roads and go to the office.

In all honesty, the roads aren't bad at all.  It's the Texas drivers that transform all major highways into major a**-hole death traps.  As much as I bag on my parents (in hyperbolic humor), my dad was smart enough to wake me up early the first time it iced after I started driving.  He made me drive around with him for 15-20 minutes so I could learn how to handle the ice, turning into spins, etc.

Little did he know, after school that day, I took my trusty Jeep Cherokee to a K-Mart parking lot and practiced donuts for a good hour before I got Tilt-A-Whirl sick and went to Sonic for a Route 44 and a Marlboro Light.

My logic was: if turning into the spin will stop you, turning away while gassing it means fun fun fun!


While I'm being a grown up and chained to my desk for the next 8 hours, a lot of my friends felt the need to text me informing me that their bosses called for a 'Snow Day' and they will be at home.  I hate them and hope they get frostbite in their face.  Also, I have been at work for an hour and neither of my managers are here nor people who I know for a fact live within 5 minutes of our office.  They can all eat my poo.

So, while I toil away and try act like I'm moderately motivated to work today, I'll really be looking and waiting for pedestrians to slip and fall in the parking lot outside the window by my desk.


SIDE NOTE: My dad was kind of perturbed about my last post about my parents' negligence.  For the record, my parents were amazing.  My siblings and I (especially me, I'm their favorite and they tell me all the time), filled their life with joy and were nothing but a continued blessing that enriched their lives blah blah blah. Also, he was upset because he thought people who didn't know my parents or the reality would believe me.  

I assured him, that anyone stupid enough to take my emotional embellishments seriously are probably too stupid to even work a computer.  I will say, the facts are there!  Those are NOT fabricated...just dramatized.  

If you think my parents were horrible people because they never bought me a Lunchable, sodas at McDonalds, or name brand anything, that's your call and I can't stop you.

UPDATE: Since I am stuck at work today and most of you are not, I think you should make it up to me and buy me all of the T-Shirts from this store: http://www.sharingmachine.com/ 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like your dad hates this blog almost as much as I do.

John said...

No one could hate my blog as much as you! Thanks for reading. We are probably doing Ice Crew.

Stephanie said...

During the winter where I live, the roads ALWAYS look like that, haha. Good on you for going to work. You can play in the snow afterwards, can't you? =]

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

You people and all this snow make it so much easier for me to be all, "la la la, Florida is awesome."

If it makes you feel better, though, no snow days. I'm at work too, and that's pretty stupid.

Lor

John said...

@Stephanie - If by 'play in the snow' you mean use the snow as ice for a whiskey + 7 UP slushy, then YES!
@Lor - Do you guys at least get Hurricane Days?

K. said...

You could not be more correct about Texas drivers. I think College Station's might very well be the worst I've experienced.