Monday, January 31, 2011

In case of emergency, take pictures

I have very little to say today.

The weekend was actually pretty full which left very little time for me to write anything or even watch Sex And The City for the 8,645,318th time.

The true highlight/low-point of my weekend was the beautiful weather.  Only in Texas does the Sunday before the "coldest days in Dallas history" offer you and your friends the perfect patio drinking weather (or something like that, I probably shouldn't use quotes because that is most likely a completely inaccurate statement).

Anyway, the weather was amazing so my friends and I decided to spend the day drinking at Taco Diner.   Who is infamous for (no, not their tacos), a drink called the Mambo Taxi.  I'm not 100% sure what is in them, but I know they will completely ninja your face if you are not ready.  Or, in my case, even if you are.  If you follow me on twitter, you may or may not have been aware of the events leading up to my demise.

In my early years of drinking, some random Asian told me that I am 'allergic' to alcohol.  And by 'allergic', I'm sure Asian meant we lack some sort of enzyme that helps break down alcohol.  Needless to say, I'm a 2.5 drink date and apparently a 1 Mambo Taxi date rape.

After one, I was ready to throw in the towel.  My friends, whose blood is just about the same consistency as a Mambo Taxi, didn't want to leave and I didn't feel like being a Debbie Downer/Party Pooper or paying cab fare...

I opted to sleep in the backseat of my roommate's brand new car.  It was the best decision of my life.  I even utilized his windshield shades to cover up what would look like a victim of a kidnapper with ADD.

PS - I would like to thank the good people at Acura for making such a lovely and comfortable backseat.  Being Acura, I'm almost 100% confident in believing that they designed this seat for passed out Asians.

SIDE NOTE: I was out drank by a friend who 24 hours prior suffered moderate to severe head trauma.  After a night of staying up too late and getting into trouble, my friend got up too quickly to answer his phone, got nauseous, passed out, hit his head on a bathtub, and proceeded to demolish my other friend's shower curtain.

I didn't witness this, but my friends who were there were nice enough to document it.

In case of emergency, my friends are not helpful whatsoever and also, why is there a glass of water in my friend's shower?

UPDATE: For the record, I was NOT drunk/wasted.  I just had a horrible reaction to whatever the hell those jokers at Taco Diner put in that drink.  I eventually went home and watched Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.  Thank you, Angelina Jolie.


M A I A said...

you're hilarious. :D

Misfits Vintage said...

I'm pretty sure I love you. Those f*ckers obviously spiked your drink. Thank GOD for Angelina. Sarah xxx

isaac092 said...

Sauza Tequila my friend!!

isaac092 said...

Sauza Tequila my friend!! BTW the limit is 3

John said...

These destroy me. My new limit is zero. I'll just stick to beer. It seems to be the only thing that doesn't give me Asian red face.