Wednesday, January 5, 2011

silence is golden

If you don’t know me, I’m sure from reading this you have clearly deduced that I am a self-involved loud mouth who would send his own grandmother up the river for the tiniest bit of attention.  If you do know me, you can validate that statement.  That being said, quiet people fascinate me.

When I meet someone new and they are reserved on any level, I find it my new life’s goal to find out everything I possibly can about them.  If I have been drinking, this endeavor is approached with very little grace and usually deteriorates into me either making fun of them or point blank asking why they are so quiet.  Neither results in anything that can be described as "productive."

I sometimes find myself moderately stalking these silent souls to catch them in a boisterous act or see just how they function as people who have chosen to live such hushed lives. 

If my efforts are actually successful, I usually find myself extremely disappointed.  I am hoping they are incredibly interesting, have a deep dark ‘Who shot JR?’ type of secret, or just have a naturally mysterious (and therefore sexy) countenance… or possibly a vampire.

More often than not, they’re just boring and/or shy and have nothing to offer to society... and by ‘society,’ I mean ‘me.’  Or they are awkward and they keep to themselves because if and when they open their mouths people start looking for fire exits or blunt, heavy objects to bludgeon themselves with. 

There isn't anything wrong with people who are shy.  They're like Canadians... almost real people.  I just prefer to spend time with people whose energy can compliment or enhance my own.  However, I still remain in fascinated stalker mode at all times just in case I do meet a Jason Bourne or Beast from the X-Men.

NOTE: This curiosity inducing mystique only works if you are reasonably attractive (a 7 or 8 at least).  If you are ugly and try to pull this quiet aura, I just assume you are a sexual deviant who wants to molest me and chop me up into little pieces… or some sort of door-to-door evangelist.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Speaking of boring and having nothing to add to society, you should check this link out:

Complete Waste of Everyone's Time

John said...

Thanks linking back to my blog... Does a link embedded in the site is linking to even generate more traffic?!

Traveler@large said...

Wow, me too. It's really true, the less they give them more i want!

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

That link links to an awesome blog! Thanks anonymous. I now have a new favorit... wait a second! I see what he did there!

Anyhow, I'm quiet at first meeting. I think you'd hate me though because enough time or liquor later and then I get all chatty and not interesting anymore.

Then again, I am hot, so there is that.

Lorraine

John said...

I'm extremely quiet when I am in a group of people where I don't know a lot of people. Usually, I am afraid I will say something offensive because I have trouble gauging strangers' personal definitions of inappropriate until I get to know them further. Drinking helps this.

I wouldn't classify myself as 'hot,' Lorraine. But, I feel that soon enough, people get the picture that I am a completely ridiculous person so getting offended by anything I say is like getting mad at a 3-legged dog for not being able to run faster.