Friday, September 17, 2010

tennis + the art of love-making

Anyone who has a moderate acquaintance with the game of tennis knows that if and when you play an inferior player, your game suffers. This concept easily translates to any number of other social activities (i.e. – the tango, the art of love-making, etc.). The bottom line is, you have to give as good as you get, and, no, this isn’t a dirty, boom-boom blog, because 1) I have family and coworkers on here, and 2) a magician (unlike a lot of people I know) never reveals his tricks, and 3) tacky!

So, I have this co-worker who is a textbook definition of a Chatty Kathy. I mean, I know I talk a lot and I do, but this guy… flurge! He can and will talk to just about any person within ear shot. Now, you might say he’s just friendly and outgoing, and to that I reply, no. He is weird, socially awkward, and can also be cross-referenced in that same textbook under “Amber Alert.” I’m actually not that outgoing of a person. I’m not very comfortable around new people because I never know how they will respond to my particular brand of personality. I usually say it’s so I don’t offend them by saying something ‘off color,’ but in all honesty, I don’t want to dive into a boring social interaction without a life jacket and/or arsenic capsule.

If you’ve been around me when I’m around the right people, the frequency of my talking is probably only rivaled by the volume of that talking. If you’re boring, I can’t just start a conversation with you. Small talk is the tool of the ignorant. (I would like to think I coined that phrase). Because, anyone can do it. Weather, current events, and my personal go-to favorite if and when I have to be wrangled into a horrible conversation, TV (i.e. – Glee and/or 30 Rock). That’s right, if I have just met you and start talking about TV, I probably think you are boring and am struggling to maintain a ‘conversation’ whilst looking for an escape route.

Now, I’m never (again) NEVER a person to turn away from a compliment. When people say I’m funny, I never really get it. I mean clever or witty, maybe. But, I think a more accurate description would be ‘fun.’ I could never do standup comedy, because I can’t just stand in front of a mildly interactive group of people and just be funny. Like in conversation, I have to be interacting with the right people.

Some of my favorite people possess vibrant, fun, boisterous personalities that make me up my game. However, some of the most boring people I know might not think I like them very much. I’m not going talk walk up to them and start a conversation because I know exactly how it will go. “Hi. Hey. What’s up? Super! Cool… … … … So.. that Rachel sure can sing… … … Ok. See you around.” The ellipses are me either looking around, fiddling with my iPod or BlackBerry, or formulating excuses as to why I have begun crying. At best, you’ll get a nod, a smile, and if I’m in a particularly good mood, some finger guns shooting your way. I would consider winking if I weren’t such an awkward winker.

Simply put, like the “oh no she didn’t” line of any/all cheerleading/dance movies, when it comes to tennis, boom-boom, and conversation, you betta ba-ring it!

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