supermaket sweep.

Like so many of my other relationships I keep, the John Boerger + grocery store union is one of love/hate. As complicated as it is, I think these types of relationships are usually the best. They are always dynamic, they keep me on my toes, but the cost (hate) benefit (love) analysis always comes up with overall satisfaction. Not to mention, it is absolutely necessary because girl’s gotta eat.

I’ve probably thrown up a facebook status (or twelve) about running back to the grocery store because I’m an idiot and forgot that most cakes require sugar as a key component and I hate my neighbors or that I’m stuck behind an ethnic woman and her eleven-ish children resisting the urge to backhand them all. And I’m pretty sure everyone has been stuck behind the elderly/dying couple who can barely operate a cell phone but feel up to the challenge to tackle the Self Checkout with an overflowing cart. FML. I am VERY proud to say I have personally told that A-hole who can’t count to 15 and feels they are entitled to use the express lane with enough groceries to feed the cast of “Dance You’re A** Off” to go to a regular checkout. Finally, probably my biggest annoyance at the grocery and life in general for that matter, is the people who walk as if they were wearing Manolo Cinderblocks. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, “Life’s short, walk fast!”

Clearly, the only thing I have negative to say about the grocery would have to be the people. Like the movies, restaurants, and my commute to and from work, if there weren’t any other people, I would be elated. I have actually taken to wearing my iPod to the store and it has dramatically lowered my blood pressure and, like good couple’s counseling, revived the spark that made me love those aisles and shelves in the first place. One of my earliest memories is going to the grocery store with my mom (I have successfully repressed the memory of being almost LEFT, so that’s water under the bridge). Anyway, I was fascinated by all the seemingly endless fields of food and it was my life goal to be a grocery checker.

I suppose my love of the grocery store is pretty black and white. For the most part, I approach those sliding glass doors a lot how I approach life. It’s organized, predictable, and there is section dedicated entirely to cheese which is usually conveniently located next to the bacon! Regardless of my mood or time of day, it’s always there for me offering nourishment (or my loose interpretation of what’s good for my body.) Walking through the aisles of produce, meat, and dairy is therapeutic. I sometimes go 3 or 4 times a week. Whether I am planning my meals for the week, whipping up a quick snack, or simply out of hair spray, I enjoy knowing that my needs will be met and on the rare occasion they are out of something, there is very little disappointment. There are even pleasant surprises when you either get inspiration for dinner by strolling through and reviewing ingredients or the occasional sale item.

There are days that I have to literally drag myself to the Krogers, but I more often than not leave with a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. I guess that’s what we all want out of any venture in life.

PS - Whatever happened to Supermarket Sweep? If it is NOT cancelled, please let me know where to send my entry video submission!!!