Tuesday, November 22, 2011

trashy thursday

Thanksgiving is upon us. That's right, despite what almost every retailer in the nation thinks, there are other holidays to celebrate between Labor Day and Christmas. But, that's a rant for another day.

Anyway, other than my family's tradition of recreating almost every sappy moment from a sweeps episode of 7th Heaven when we take turns sharing what we're thankful for or my new found tradition of drinking way too much wine with my friends whose families also live too far to travel, Thanksgiving means exactly one thing to me: green bean casserole.

Ever since I was a kid, whether it was actually Turkey Day, a church potluck, or a Wednesday, I have always been obsessed with this dish. I don't know if it is the fried onions or the delicious creamy sauce, but green bean casserole tastes better than sex feels. Seriously.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it involves zero materialistic motivations, it is all about family, and, as red-blooded Americans, I think we can all get on board with anything that revolves around food and the decimation of a weaker culture.

For me it is about the food and family. So, when I went away to college and missed the 7th Heaven moments, I called up my mom to get the secret, hush-hush, almost magical recipe for green bean casserole. Like most college freshman, I wasn't very experienced with cooking. I was certain my mom used some sort of dark magic or a puppy's soul to make it taste so good. Turns out, the recipe is on the back of the French's Fried Onions canister!

Nowadays, cooking has become a real passion of mine. So much so, I like to pretend that I have become a food snob and only enjoy haute cuisine.  When the truth is, when it comes to a lot of food, the white trash version is better. Seriously, one time I was so hungover I ate Chef Boyardee Raviolis right of the can.

True story, y'all.
I can't even wrap my mind around the need to have a fancy green been casserole. I don't even want fresh green beans anywhere near that dish. I even put aside my complete and utter disdain for Cream of Mushroom Soup to make this.

I enjoy making flashy things that look pretty because I believe in a former life I was a food stylist, but when it comes to Thanksgiving, I think all the food should be the most white trash versions they can be. Like if my cranberry sauce doesn't have visible lines of the can it was dumped out of, I don't want it on my table. One year, my mom was trying to be all classy and cut it into individual slices. I felt like I was dining at Versailles.

To really class it up, this year we are frying our turkeys. FRYING, I SAY!

Thanksgiving: a day where dreams come true.


Anonymous said...

That is my one and favorite dish at Thanksgiving as well! I always enjoy your blogs so much John!!!

Lauren Silvers

Carol Thompson said...

We had a lunch potluck today and this was one of two dishes I brought. The other....sweet potato casserole with TWO layers of marshmallows.

John said...

@Lauren - every year I always make one just for myself and eat off it all weekend!

@Carol - my stupid coworkers did our potluck today and did a MEXICAN theme. Seriously? Enchiladas and 7-layer dip have a special place in my heart, but this is America. Terrorists!

Leslie said...

I made an ENORMOUS batch of green bean casserole for dinner this year. And my brother in law ate so much he went into a diabetic coma and had to sleep it off in his mom's bed. Because he doesn't have his own bed. Even though he lives there. And is 35 years old.

John said...

Leslie-Your brother in law sounds like good people!
My friend that hosted Thanksgiving this year is awesome that he made one batch of white trash green bean casserole just for me and then a fancy one that I didn't care for. Also, the deep fried turkeys changed my life.

Zoe said...

A Mexican Thanksgiving? That sucks!