Scooby-Don't

So a blog about a woman who let her pre-school child dress up as a female Scooby Doo character has made its way around the shared links of facebook. Here is the link: http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

While I applaud this woman for her strong stance, good writing, and acceptance of her son’s possible homosexuality, I sort of have to agree with some of the other mothers’ reactions.

Children at such a fragile and malleable stage in psychological development need to know how society works. Like it or hate it, men have certain roles and women have others. They are ingrained in every member of society by observation and reinforced by generations and generations of repeated norms. People who shy away from the norm are exactly that, not normal. This doesn’t make them horrible people. It isn’t grounds to be chased with pitchforks by the townspeople. But, it will illicit reaction.

Even as a fully grown man who (in all good fun, on Halloween or theme party or Friday night ‘staying in’) will throw on a wig and whip his hair back and forth, I don’t think these children should be encouraged to stray from the norm at such an early age. Should the child be made feel ashamed of what he or she wants? No. But I think this mother could have tactfully encouraged the child against his wish to cross dress. I mean, the kid walked up to school and already felt out of place or that he would be made fun of. Luckily his peers were more pleased with the costume than the parents.

Early on, I think children should be aware of the norms of society to help define them as a person, and if and when they are old enough to understand how society works and choose to be a horse of a different color, then they can make that informed decision at that time. However, I don’t think it is appropriate to encourage a child (who doesn’t really know better) to act so out of normal. As much as I hate that word and wished we lived in a world where that word carried very little weight, we don’t and it does. When everyone is aflutter talking about how bad bullies are, I don’t think it helps to give them ammunition in a wig and a pair of sensible heels.

She also mentioned the double standard of a girl going as Batman and how that would have been totally acceptable. I got made fun of for being a male cheerleader, but a female footballer was praised for being different. Yeah, it’s there, it sucks, but this is the crappy world we live in that you have live in. I was a stubborn 15-year-old who was doing something I loved and was quite aware of the ramifications. This kid wasn’t old enough to know or understand the consequences of his actions. His mom should have known we do not live in a perfect world.

When it comes down to it, unfortunately, growing up is all about trying your hardest to fit in and maintain the status quo (aka be invisible/boring enough to not get made fun of). Then, once you actually are grown up, you realize how stupid that is and you can shine like whatever star you wanna be and be happy!

me are helen keller.

So, the other day I was in a muddled state of mind. It was the Sunday afternoon following a night of Halloween shenanigans. I wasn’t just beside myself, I was actually a few seats over from myself, because I lacked a shower, had a slight, at best, grasp on any level of hand-eye coordination, and looked like the first 10 minutes of Saving Private Ryan. Anyway, I picked up some food and decided I needed to go to rent a movie and reconcile myself to a couch.

Since the Blockbuster near my house closed and driving to Uptown was probably not a good idea for pedestrians everywhere, I found myself at a Red Box. I literally stared at it for about 8 minutes before I gave up. How do these things work? I was so intimidated by the machine I just walked away and told myself there wasn’t anything worth watching. I’ve seen children, poor people, and what looked like past contestants of the Jerry Springer Show at these things navigate the touch screen and walk away happy with no problem. I first thought, what lender gave these people credit cards? Then I thought, if they can do it, surely I can. Not so.

Simply put, I hate trying new things. I’m a (magnificent) creature of habit and repetition who enjoys being right. So, when I’m thrown into situations that are seemingly simple, but I have absolutely prior knowledge to, bad things happen. The first time I actually had to take my car in to get the oil changed, I think I cried. I don’t know what kind of oil I want. I just wanted to walk in say ‘oil change’ and have absolutely no follow-up questions to which I have no answers. I would like to think I’m a smart, resourceful person. But one of my favorite resources is a subject matter expert.

I made it through college with a stellar GPA, not because I worked hard or studied a lot, it’s because I went to every class with very few exceptions, if any. If I went and was able to hear my professors and probe them for further explanation, I would learn. I took an online English course during a summer session, and this is where I got my first B (and that B was almost a C). I am the worst self-taught person ever. When I started my job, I had to study two giant books on securities, regulations, and other crap I don’t really use. The first time I took the 7, I failed it. I don’t even like to look things up myself. Sure, I can Google answers to my simplest questions, but if you explain it to me, I’ll probably remember it longer/forever!

I need instruction, assistance, and someone with firsthand experience holding mine. Seriously, I if I don’t know what I’m doing I’ll be the first to admit I am Helen Keller desperately seeking my Annie Sullivan.