P's & Q's.

Once again, I grow exceedingly disappointed in society as a whole. Sure, we give out health care like XXL T-Shirts at a NASCAR rally, but the giving of the occasionally common courtesy is simply a thing of the past. I’m not saying I greet every person with a dandy smile and always walk with a skip in my step, but on the general, I usually try to be an acceptably upstanding individual.

So, I’m at work, and the coffee provided is as close to an EPA violation as any liquid you would even consider putting in your mouth. But, when I drudge through that door every morning, I voluntarily torture my taste buds and pour myself a hot cup of “coffee.” Not the point... Anyway, it’s 10 AM and some genius poured them self the last drop of coffee, turns off the machine, and leaves. I’m sorry, but did you assume you were the last person for the rest of the day who wanted coffee. The principle is simple and sound: if you finish the last drop, you start another pot. (FYI – opposite principle of the “He who tops it off drops it off” trash can principle).

Blinkers. The good people at the car companies don’t put them on your car for fun. They are functional, informative, and pretty when they light up. So… use them! Unless you are the worst kind of driver who tries to dart into my lane at the last minute, if you put your blinker on and wait patiently 9 times out of 10, I will courteously let you go in front of me. Don’t just merge over without giving me notice. I assume you are pulling a Lindsay Lohan after a long night of partying on Red Bull and Cocoa Puffs and can’t color inside the lines. Why LiLo would be driving down 114 on a Wednesday morning, I haven’t the slightest clue…

Shakespeare said, “neither a borrower nor a lender be.” No, I only agree with ½ of this. I love borrowing things, but get extremely leery of the lending. There are actually very few people I will let borrow anything of mine, because I have extremely low expectations on 1) whether or not I will ever receive what I lent back and 2) what condition it may or may not be returned in. If I have perceived you treating your own possessions with about as much respect as a toilet seat, why would I let you borrow a movie, kitchenware, or book?! That being said, if I borrow something from you, rest assured that it is taken care of. If I ever let you borrow something and it gets elfed up, you will be on a list of untrustworthy borrowers. (Yes, I keep a list.)

Moral of the story? Be good people.

PS – What the heck does “P&Q” stand for? I wanna say it’s Spanish…

My year in review...

So, 2009 has probably been the best worst year of my life. To say the last 365 days were a rollercoaster ride would be an understatement and a nauseatingly overused cliché. It seemed to have started like any other year but ended up being as out of control as a drag queen in a wig shop clearance sale.

Losing one of the two most important/influential people in my life could have completely ruined my year (and years to come) if it didn’t teach me the true meaning of thankfulness. I am thankful for the 24 years I had with my mother and will never forget them and the person her influence made me today. I also came to realize that I have the most amazing friends and family that continue to show me all the other wonderful things in my life that are just plain nifty, despite the loss.

On the plus side of this year, Kelly Clarkson and Taylor Swift released some pretty excellent albums and the happiest hour on TV, Glee, premiered. Also in the category of ‘A-OK,’ I got a 4-month company paid vacation this summer as what I shall call a blessing from the Recession Gods. That period of unemployment sure taught me the true merits of sloth and I’m pretty sure my TV, couch, and Snuggie breathed a sigh of relief when I eventually made it back in the working force.

I’ve also made some substantially amazing/crazy/fun new friends this year and have grown even closer to my (what shall best referred to as) ‘my boyz’ who have been there for the entire carnival ride of 2009s. These two have been with me when I laughed so hard I thought I was going to throw up, and stuck around when I cried so long I never thought I would stop.

So, like any other life in motion, this past year has had its ebb and flow. Flerge! Are there any analogies for life that don’t sound like they were taken directly from a Hallmark Card or the jacket of some awful self-help book?! Anyway, a year ago the place I am in my life I am now is the last place I ever thought I would be, but where I am now is the only place I would want to be.

Bring it on, 2009. Dang, y’all!

PS – I totally maxed out my "Butch Points" for the year by shooting an elfing 8-point buck on my first hunting trip ever.