Tuesday, February 28, 2012

all white, i say!

I have an intense and extreme love/hate relationship with one Ina Garten.

For starters, I absolutely love everything about her to the point of Biblical coveting of her life. Although I have zero prior experience in a leisurly life in the Hamptons, I feel like I would be awesome at it. The riches and hot gay BFFs aside, I mostly adore her ALL WHITE kitchen. ALL WHITE, I SAY!

I would literally run around that beautiful, giant island in sensible pumps, a poofy dress with matching apron, and a Donna Reed wig til my knee caps fell off.

Also, she's SO graceful and well spoken. If you've ever heard me tell a story in person after three glasses of wine or laugh at something unfortunate happening to an obese person on YouTube, you can attest to the fact that my voice sounds something like a dying cat being forced to mate with an asthmatic Fran Drescher. A lot of Ina's charm could be for the camera, and she could swear like an Italian mob wife in real life, but in my heart of hearts she is her TV personality through and through.

Finally, the thing I'm the MOST jealous of Ina is her relationship. I mean I want a nice, loving guy that is almost NEVER around. That way I can cook and bake all day while getting drunk with my gay friends. It's nice that every once and a while she cooks a nice meal for her man or he makes a cameo appearance at the end of the episode just to remind all the viewers that she does in fact have the perfect life.

Now on to the stuff I hate...

Ina, as I have already mentioned, I don't live a fabulous life in the Hamptons. I do get a lot of joy out of cooking, but it started and continues to be a way to save money. Would I like to eat out at fabulous restaurants every night drinking wine served out of glass bottles? Of course I would! But the kids need new shoes and my car is being held together by the hopes and dreams of a boy who would rather eat a box of nails than have a car payment.

Furthermore, take it easy on the bougie ingredients. We don't all have a pirvate duck butcher or our own organic gardens we can just go grab shallots out of. If I can't find it at my local and super disgusting, yet convenient, Kroger, I'M NOT COOKING IT.

She's always like "Really any mild cheese will do in this recipe. But I prefer a nice locally raised, free-range virgin goat cheese. Oh, look, a goat! I'll be right back."

All that being said, almost all of my most favorite things that have come out of my kitchen came from Ina. I would add links to the recipes, but that's A LOT of button pushing, y'all.

Restaurant style filet mignon.

French apple tart.

And my most favorite thing of ever: boeuf bourguignon.


Stephen DeCost said...

You know, I tend to use her recipes a lot. Though she uses, as you say, bougie ingredients, her recipes are quite easy to follow and always come out tasting incredibly complex.

John said...

Oh, everything I've ever made from one of her recipes has turned out amazing. Her recipes are very easy to follow and easy for experienced or dumb cooks. PS - why does she ALWAYS say 'good olive oil'? I know it makes a difference, but it's like she's rubbing it in your face that I bought some cheap stuff.