hate letter.

Thanksgiving is upon us. Big dinners, more food than physically necessary, and, in my case, enough red wine to shut down a mule’s liver. Speaking of cooking, I want to hit Sandra Lee in the back of the head with a shovel. Not really… But sometimes, really.

I don’t consider myself an amazing cook or five-star chef by any stretch of the imagination, but I can to cook. Look, I even blog about it. Getting a little messy, following a recipe, and having your hard work pay off in the form of deliciousness? Yes please! Sandra Lee is a cheater and doesn’t deserve a show. Maybe a one hit wonder cook book that offers a smattering cooking tips, but NOT A SHOW.

I guess my initial hate stemmed from the fact that I confused her with Sarah Lee. I was under the impression that I was tuning in for a half hour show completely dedicated to cup cakes. Imagine my surprise…

The motifs. THE MOTIFS! How in the hell are you supposed to be preaching about cutting corners and making cooking easy for the mom on the go and dedicate an entire segment of your show to your tacky place settings? Look! This little number almost made me hate the most sacred gay holiday: Halloween.


Also, I’m pretty sure 99% of her recipes include pre-chopped onions or that jarred garlic crap. Knife work is probably the awesomest part of prep and you’re taking it away from me? Not on my watch. My food is delicious and slightly over-salted because I cried the tears of hard work into my onions. Most people who cook for themselves on a regular basis do so to be economical. Buying precut vegetables/ingredients is more expensive than if you take the few minutes to cut your own damn celery/carrots!

I’m all for a few tips to helpful tips that are included with cookbooks and appreciate a time-saver here and there. But Sandra Lee is perverse. I can’t believe she is even on the same network as the Barefoot Contessa or my favorite giant-headed, overly enthusiastic bombshell: Giada De Laurentiis.

Also she is way too skinny. Never trust a skinny chef… not even me. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

CONFESSION: In efforts of full disclosure, I don’t mince/chop/peel garlic because I am lazy and this is a task I'm totally ok with never doing. Solution: a garlic press aka the best $15 I ever spent since my Alanis Morissette Jagged Little Pill album.