my dirty place.

This isn’t that kind of post, so keep your pants on and get your minds out of their respective gutters. Like any stereotypical mo, I pride myself in my organizational skills, cleanliness, and (for lack of better unintended pun) extremely anal retentiveness. I don’t know what made me this way. My family is anything but organized and laid back about things that make me want to scratch my eyes out. (This is one of the reasons I love my in-laws so much). They know how to set a proper table, eat like people can actually see them, and plenty of other things that we can relate to and judge my family on.

If you’ve ever been in my home on any given day, the bed is usually made, dishes are clean, and every little duck is in a neat little row. I iron my sheets, enjoy doing laundry, vacuum in parallel lines, and appreciate the aesthetic euphoria of my little chotchkies arranged in right angles. All that being said, I am completely OK with saying that I have one dirty place: my car. Now, it’s not anything close to the disgusting hobo rides some of my friends roll around in. I cannot stress this fact enough, my car is not disgusting/filthy, it is just very cluttered/unkempt relative to everything else in my life.

Maybe having a dashboard that could desperately use some Armor All, floorboards that haven’t seen a vacuum in ages, and compartments full of Sonic receipts/straw wrappers is a release my mind needs to not have my head completely explode. Part of me thinks I should just shell out the money to have it detailed on a semi-regular basis, but paying someone to clean for me (when I get so much pleasure out of it) seems downright sinful. I mean, I would never hire a cleaning lady! Even when I have a free day and feel like going to vacuum my car or wash it, I pull a drive by on the car wash faster than a Cadillac in a bad neighborhood full of ethnic youths.

I guess this is all has a three-fold purpose. The first being a confession: despite popular belief, it turns out that I’m NOT perfect... The second purpose being an offer: I would totally barter my house-cleaning services if you will clean my car! The final purpose would be an inquiry: does any other extremely, borderline OCD person have a “dirty place?” Or am I the only slacker?