the business of 'the business'

Ok, I’ve posted about bathroom etiquette before, but recent events at my office (no names) have prompted me to amend this for semi-private professional bathrooms. I don’t know about where you work, but the working public doesn’t have access to our potties, so you would think a group of educated, white-collar working individuals would know the dos and don’ts of ‘the business.’

Anyway, I have come to the realization that the higher your position in the company, the less discretion you use. Now, this isn’t true of everyone, but I can kind of appreciate this one. If I was the CEO of a company, who cares if I let out a little fart while I pee? I wouldn’t be proud of it, but I definitely wouldn’t care what a subordinate employee thought about me.

However, I don’t care if you’re Barack Obama, no one on God’s green Earth is exempt from hand washing, and unfortunately I have to add… WITH SOAP! The facilities at my job have pretty pointless automatic soap dispensers that make a little ‘bzzzzz’ noise as it dispenses. So, when I’m standing at the urinal or in a stall and I hear the water running and no soap, newsflash: you’re not fooling anyone, sicko! I mean, why was your hands at all? Hold your non-hygienic head high, and just strut on out of the door, because if you didn’t use soap, don’t waste water!

Finally, noise (of any kind) in a public bathroom is just skunky. I don’t wanna talk about my weekend or my pick for American Idol while the junk is out and about. Even though it’s a ‘public’ bathroom, going to the bathroom is a personal time. I don’t have a shy bladder, but still it’s my little 5 minutes of alone time. Also, speaking of noise, if you’re in the stall, can you please not sound like you are trying to dead lift a Ford F-150?! Gross!

As you can see, my creative juices aren’t flowing too steadily… any suggestions for a post?