trashy thursday

Thanksgiving is upon us. That's right, despite what almost every retailer in the nation thinks, there are other holidays to celebrate between Labor Day and Christmas. But, that's a rant for another day.

Anyway, other than my family's tradition of recreating almost every sappy moment from a sweeps episode of 7th Heaven when we take turns sharing what we're thankful for or my new found tradition of drinking way too much wine with my friends whose families also live too far to travel, Thanksgiving means exactly one thing to me: green bean casserole.

Ever since I was a kid, whether it was actually Turkey Day, a church potluck, or a Wednesday, I have always been obsessed with this dish. I don't know if it is the fried onions or the delicious creamy sauce, but green bean casserole tastes better than sex feels. Seriously.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it involves zero materialistic motivations, it is all about family, and, as red-blooded Americans, I think we can all get on board with anything that revolves around food and the decimation of a weaker culture.

For me it is about the food and family. So, when I went away to college and missed the 7th Heaven moments, I called up my mom to get the secret, hush-hush, almost magical recipe for green bean casserole. Like most college freshman, I wasn't very experienced with cooking. I was certain my mom used some sort of dark magic or a puppy's soul to make it taste so good. Turns out, the recipe is on the back of the French's Fried Onions canister!

Nowadays, cooking has become a real passion of mine. So much so, I like to pretend that I have become a food snob and only enjoy haute cuisine.  When the truth is, when it comes to a lot of food, the white trash version is better. Seriously, one time I was so hungover I ate Chef Boyardee Raviolis right of the can.

True story, y'all.

I can't even wrap my mind around the need to have a fancy green been casserole. I don't even want fresh green beans anywhere near that dish. I even put aside my complete and utter disdain for Cream of Mushroom Soup to make this.

I enjoy making flashy things that look pretty because I believe in a former life I was a food stylist, but when it comes to Thanksgiving, I think all the food should be the most white trash versions they can be. Like if my cranberry sauce doesn't have visible lines of the can it was dumped out of, I don't want it on my table. One year, my mom was trying to be all classy and cut it into individual slices. I felt like I was dining at Versailles.

To really class it up, this year we are frying our turkeys. FRYING, I SAY!

Thanksgiving: a day where dreams come true.

wow. just wow.

I can't stop blogging about music. You all hate me. And, rightfully so.

Anyway, if you're still reading. This is me writing yet another post about Kelly Clarkson.

A few weeks ago when I was blowing up facebook about how much I loved Kelly, her new album, and how I was such an avid fan of her I was almost certain our menstrual cycles were in sync.

A friend then promptly added to the fire by posting a fan shot YouTube video of Kelly covering fellow American schmIdol alum, Carrie Underwood. The song was from her 2nd album Carnival Ride and it is a disgustingly depressing ballad about a guy is lying about saying he'll call her back. It's called 'I Know You Won't.' Sidenote: No man, gay, straight, hermaphrodite or otherwise would NOT call Carrie Underwood back.

I don't know who or what convinced Kelly Clarkson to cover it, but God bless them. At first I didn't like the idea of it because they are such different voices and the crappy YouTube version sounded bad and I thought Carrie did a better version.

The versions are in fact very different. Kelly doesn't have long soaring notes that Carrie so effortlessly seems to hit. But I'm guessing there's a lot of auto-tune there, because I have never heard Carrie successfully recreate or outdo the way she sounds on an album during a liver performance.

To sound like a super queer Idol judge, 'Kelly really made the song her own, and I loved her spirit.'

Enjoy below: 

Kelly Clarkson - VH1 Unplugged

An entire 5 song set VH1 Unplugged airs this Friday, November 18th. Check your local listings or DVR it like anyone who has TV and money after 2006. Coincidentally, this air date is the same as my birthday. That's right folks, you have less than 4 days to get me the perfect present. The perfect present includes but is not limited to anything involving bacon, firearms, Kelly Clarkson, and absolutely anything by Le Creuset. That's French for 'really effing expensive cooking crap.'